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Bob Alexander: Where Are the Grownups?

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Where are the Grownups?We could buy Real Fireworks for the 4th of July because we lived near the Port Madison Indian Reservation in Washington state. No wimpy sparklers for us. None of that Safe N Sane garbage. These were definitely Unsafe and Insane. We could buy stuff that exploded. As SCTVs Billy Sol Hurock and Big Jim McBob used to say, It blowed up real good.

I was about to set off a rocket slightly smaller than a cruise missile when I noticed a warning on the box, Use under adult supervision.

Well I guess that would be me. A crazed adolescent in an aging body with an arsenal of dangerous, albeit colorful, explosives. I lit the fuse and ran. It shot up a couple of hundred feet and KA-WHAP. A pyrotechnic chrysanthemum lit up the sky over our house with a sonic boom that rattled our windows. Another successful 4th of July. Nothing caught on fire and everybody still had all their fingers. As we walked back into the house I realized I finally looked old enough to do all the stuff I couldnt possibly get away with as a teenager.

The only real difference between 15 year old Bob and 60 year old Bob is the older one knows hes not bullet proof. What might pass for wisdom is just having a better handle on Cause and Effect. If you just pay attention, even slightly, for 40 years or so you realize its not a good idea to do all sorts of things.

Left to my own devices my diet would consist entirely of meat, potatoes, and bread.


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