That's right, value seekers -- and there's a seeker born every minute -- we're having our quadrennial Presidential Liquidation Sale days early, by popular demand... (and by our own insistence that we get all these odds and ends out of here, and out from under foot, before someone in this overstuffed warehouse accidentally gets hurt or maimed.)
We might have lost our lease! (Although Aunt Tilly says it might be in the junk drawer.) We've definitely lost our minds! (You kidding me? This campaign has gone on long enough to drive anyone completely bats.) But, we haven't yet lost our nerve! (That's right, if you don't come see us today, we can't make any money!)
You name it, we've got it! Come in today while selection is still best! We've got slightly irregular online pieces and blurbs... factory-second factoids and full-length facts... as well as custom-spun yarns and well-waxed tales -- and, all with your mind in mind!