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Just Because It's Satire, Doesn't Make It False

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Satirical website The Onion has completely owned an Iran news agency.

The Iran news outlet published as true a story from The Onion saying rural white Americans would rather vote for President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad than Barack Obama.

Just because it's satire doesn't mean it isn't true.

You probably remember the steady stream of various hangings of effigies around the nation since Obama took office, many of them done on or near Christian churches.

It's probably still fresh in your mind, too, all the boos and catcalls the Obamas receive wherever they go, even if it's to do charity work somewhere.

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He can fix the Navy too

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I thought it was an Onion story that Mitt Romney thinks airplanes should have roll down windows in the passenger cabin. Screen doors in the submarine, moon landings were faked and that sort of thing, but it's true. His remarks were prompted by the dancing horse lady's scary experience on a campaign flight last week when the cabin filled with smoke briefly.

 

Here's Mitt, "When you have a fire in an aircraft, there’s no place to go, exactly, there’s no — and you can’t find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem. So it’s very dangerous. And she was choking and rubbing her eyes. Fortunately, there was enough oxygen for the pilot and copilot to make a safe landing in Denver. But she’s safe and sound."

 

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Ding Ding Ding

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The corporate media has been trying really hard to minimize the revelation that rice has dangerous levels of arsenic contamination. They sort of talk around it as if it were natural, and of course the 'organic' brown rice is far worse than the good polished 'white' rice.

 

In case you were wondering why all of a sudden the rice has arsenic in it even though arsenic poisoning has been known for hundreds of years, the problem is corporate agri-business. They've been shifting huge amounts of irrigated cotton land into rice production. Never mind that a hundred plus years of using arsenic as a pesticide on the cotton has contaminated the soil beyond redemption.

 

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Lemmings in Free Fall

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Two billion more people will be added to the planet in the next 38 years.  Food prices will edge up sharply as larders empty.  The next wars will be fought over clean drinking water -- even as we now foul clean supplies and threaten aquifers with fracking and pipelines.

We're suffocating ourselves with CO2 from our ravenous use of energy too dirty to burn anymore.  As tundras warm and thaw, methane is released, too -- many factors more dangerous than killing CO2.

Yes, and sea ice will calve, collapse, and melt.  Oceans will rise.  The lost reflectivity of snow and ice spirals up our heat, too.  Rising CO2 poisons the seas, whose creatures provide half the air we breathe.  Droughts march and wildly imperil anything green -- food stocks, plants and forests trying to trade us poison for fresh air.

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70 Million Psychopaths and Other Delights

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It's an old story, one that keeps poking back into view this election cycle:  How to reach people with your particular message?  Most of the time, we're stuck in our own channels and ruts, either stuck preaching to the choir or unable to usher new people into the tent.

This trend of stuck messaging, to pick a phrase, is clearly present in politics today,  with each so-called "side" aghast at the clearly observable insanity of their opposites, everyone's listening skills turned off at the source.

Two camps have been routinely described by the Occupy movement:  the elite 1%, and all the rest of us rabble in the remaining 99%.  As it turns out in real life, 1% of the population are also likely psychopaths.

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Morons With Movie Cameras

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I’ve seen more bad movies than anybody I know. Back in the 70’s I’d regularly go to my local drive-in with a lawn chair, a couple of quarts of beer, and watch terrible low-budget movies till 3 in the morning.

The question immediately comes to mind … why would I subject myself to steaming piles of cinema like: The Corpse Grinders, The Undertaker and His Pals, The Worm Eaters, Invasion Of The Blood Farmers, and The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies?

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Romney's secret plan

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Romney's campaign announced today that he will be coming out with a concrete five point plan to fix the economy. With early voting starting in Iowa next week, he's cutting it kind of thin. Since he was supposed to be the expert, the 'smart guy in the room', the whiz kid of Bain Capital, why didn't he share any of this wisdom with voters before? Why was the plan secret?

 

The 'intellectual' leader of the Republicans, Paul Ryan, says tax reform policies need to be vague in order to get them passed in Congress. This guy should lose his House seat once they hear him back in Wisconsin. The math simply doesn't work. Even if you closed all the 'loopholes' on the poor who 'don't pay taxes,' you know: child credits, home mortgage interest, credits for the blind, that sort of thing; the money simply isn't there.

 

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