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Tuesday, May 31st

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Editorial

Starry-Eyed and Star-Crossed

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Roughly 77 years ago, a move was made to help all Americans -- help especially to those who were older, unlucky, unfortunate, and underage, find a little optimism in their thin soup.

August 14, 1935:  President Franklin Roosevelt signed Social Security into law.  It has become one of the country's most successful insurance and retirement programs.

No matter what Republicans might say, these are not entitlements because people have paid premiums into the system, just as they would any other insurance or retirement program.

Entitlements are more accurately defined as the unquestioned belief of elite One Percenters that only they should benefit from this country's vast wealth, the rock-solid presumption and world view only they deserve to do so.

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Hip Shots from the Lip

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Willard Romney can't seem to make up his mind about which foot it is he prefers in his mouth, constantly trying one, then the other.

Running mate Paul Ryan can't stop shooting from the hip, shooting off his lip, fatally winging any chance he ever had to be taken seriously by any sane adult whose brains still work somewhat close to spec.

Between one man's random ricochets off mistruths, and the other's routine taste-testing of his own feet, this is one heckuva team, Brownie.

It's just a matter of time before one of them panics, accidentally speaking truth, while the other finally accepts his limitations and hires out for more feet.

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Parties: Poopers & Crashers

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After a very difficult and demoralizing week, almost any unpaid blogger can bloom from a wallflower into the life of the party, if unleashed around free beer.

We're not an exclusive Mitt-style membership lingering societally at the country club.  Anyone can crash our party and loiter, so long as they don't receive compensation for anything they write online.  That was the rule, right from the start, to join this vagabond crew.

This may also be why all of us still aren't paid for our work after all these years:  We couldn't bear to leave the group.  It's as close as we work-from-home yahoos get to an actual work-therapy-social-support group.

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Batty, Bizarre & Beyond

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The universe was just beginning to repair the gash in reality, on our side of that invisible wound in time and space, from the previous -- initial -- incursion with that weird phenomena, our intersection with Bizarro Universe.

You'll remember the maiden voyage we all took, riding Saturday's shock waves of this strange situation in which a clot of inexplicable behaviors arrived all at once, seemingly triggered by -- or culminating in -- the announcement of Paul Ryan as a running mate for Willard Romney.

Scientists have struggled to explain, trace, and predict the cluster of effects that have become collectively known as having a brush with Bizarro -- Bifurcated, Infrared, Zeta-waved Arrhythmia, as Randomized in Rapid Oscillations -- Universe.

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Our Implausible World

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Reality makes rubble of fiction.

Our implausible world can take almost any topic or subject, skewer it, spin it around in its rotisserie barbecue:  give it a few and, voila!  Everything goes out a nice, golden brown.

Just like Meals, Ready to Eat, or MREs -- field rations for military members in the familiar brown plastic packets, for example.

The meals are popular with survivalists, campers, hunters, and others away from their ranges-in-home, let alone from antelope playing near the 'fridge.

Wiki tells us the U.S. government requires the following information be printed on each MRE case:  U.S. Government Property, Commercial Resale is Unlawful.

So, what's the implausibility here?  It's not true.

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Space: Yeah, It's Rocket Science.

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Sometimes, everything really IS rocket science.

Even for NASA, nothing in life is a given, no matter how many successes, and no matter how high the zenith or how far the apogee.

Witness the crash of a moon lander in a recent test, an embarassing oops! after so many wins, the most recent -- and perhaps most extraordinary in some time -- the safe landing of the one-ton rover Curiosity on Mars.

No surprise:  Building knowledge, and finding your way along in the dark, is slower than running down familiar routes in broad daylight.  It's especially true, out on the edge, where no one has been before.

Starting a path is a lot trickier than following a rut.

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Running by (and past) the Numbers

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Poll numbers on Paul Ryan, Willard Romney's chosen running mate, have been crunched, and early results are looking good, according to a story by Jerry Manderd over at the Evver-Luvvin News Division (END).

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Almost three to two, Americans say they enjoy the thought of a Romney-Ryan tag-team in the White House more than they would enjoy, on a queasy Monday, a cold box lunch consisting of lima beans and liver.

By a wide margin, when asked about Ryan as a co-candidate, respondents said they would prefer Dan Quayle or Spiro Agnew, or even Whig Party candidate Millard Fillmore, even though he died in 1874. Martin Van Buren and Aaron Burr also received honorable mentions as write-in candidates in the survey of 2,300 U.S. residents whose last names begin with the letter "Q."

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