Saturday, Mar 17th

Last update05:20:13 AM GMT

You are here News Editorials Alex Baer: The Tricky Bits in the Triaging

Alex Baer: The Tricky Bits in the Triaging

E-mail Print PDF

T riage controlWelcome to the weekend, fellow shell-shock victims:

Thank you for choosing Doctor Dogooder's Philanthropic Trauma Hospital and No-Host, Hospitality Fern Bar.

We'll be triaging everyone according to depth of political dismay and by visible, physical symptoms -- such as foaming at the mouth, inability to control reflexes, sudden bursts of cursing, throbbing temple veins, fur-coated tongue, repeated yelling-while-pointing, and so on.

If anyone is having trouble breathing, please take a seat and wait your turn, as we are ALL having trouble breathing this political season.

Anyone suspecting psychic bleeding or other related injury should please report to the duty clinician in the Purple Wing -- just follow the purple arrows and pale green vapors, to the inpatient receiving area.

If you are not sure about the nature of your state of things, please also go to the Purple Wing -- it is huge, and can accommodate almost everyone in the entire country.

However, if you feel yourself overheating, or otherwise experiencing a meltdown of some sort, related to anyone with orange hair, with a last name starting with the letter "T," as in "toodle-oo," please report to the Bright Red Wing, where our crack staff of delusional counter-programmers and certified therapists can help in your transition back to reality.


Most Recent Related Stories...

Bob Alexander: AUTOPSY

Ronald Reagan in The KillersOne of my favorite movies is director Don Siegel’s 1964 remake of The Killers. It was...

NY Daily News: Donald Trump is a madman

Trump is a madman: NY Daily News editorial After his latest spasm of deranged tweets, only those completely under his spell can deny what...

Fusion GPS: The Republicans' Fake Investigations

Fusion GPS and the Russia probeA generation ago, Republicans sought to protect President Richard Nixon by urging the Senate Watergate committee...

You Only Believe the Official 9/11 Story Because You Don't Know the Official 9/11 Story

9/11 - you don't know the official story of 9/11I don't believe the official story of 9/11 because I know the official story of 9/11!During...
America's # 1 Enemy
Tee Shirt
& Help Support!
TVNL Tee Shirt
Conserve our Planet
& Help Support!
Get your 9/11 & Media
Deception Dollars
& Help Support!
The Loaded Deck
The First & the Best!
The Media & Bush Admin Exposed!